Folly was my first dog..., this is a farewell letter, with good hope

For Folly

I never really thought you would actually die one day. That our ways would seperate. And then you suddenly started to drink so much. We went to the vet; the search for your illness started. On March 8 it became serious. While in our park you stopped walking twice. I thought: stop this Folly, how obstinate you are again. But then, at home, after asking you to jump out of the car, you couldn't. You remained seated, however upon my repeated request you jumped out and, fell over... exhausted as you were. Twice. After that I could only think: My dear I am here for you, whatever happens. That is when the road of sufferings started. Once at the vet's it seemed you were exhausted: no sugar at all in your blood. Luckily you were not in pain. But we both knew: this was not going to last for long. The consultations at the university clinic at Utrecht, after: it all went well and you even liked it over there. Until the vet walked in and said that she was not happy because of the results of the research. Your jolly mood, that you had at this clinic all the time, changed instantly and you moved to a position behind the chair i was seated in, your tail hanging down.

From then on, my dear Folly, the countdown started. We've had a good time for a while since then. But both of us knew that we were gradually saying goodbye to one another. And then came that weekend beginning of June. Oh, how good you were on Friday. It seemed as if, with some more mealtimes a day, you would have a good time here for so long. The next day, Saturday, it all went very bad, and I had to carry you out of the park to the car. Both of us knew it then: this was not going to last as long anymore as we had hoped for. On Sunday you turned 10 and it was a good day for you. But on Monday we reached the end, we came to the impossible. That day you spent on your usual hilltop at Clingendael overlooking the field, in the shade under the oak. But also that day I had to carry you (partly) to the car. That night, after you were exhausted twice within a couple of hours, we walked the square here at home. When we came home you looked into the street for long, from our door, as if you wanted to memorize it all for the last time. The next day we had to say goodbye. That was the 8th of June, and it all started the 8th of March. We've had three months for this farewell.

You know I am still very sad. Nevertheless a new friend has come into my life. She could have been your friend. Lotte is a German Shepherd; you always loved shepherds, like Floris or Sanne. Lotte comes from the refuge, where you have been so often joining me at the meetings I had there. Lotte is so grateful that she can be here with me. After you left I have walked often with Sanne, your child, and that will probably continue. However I really needed a dog around me: a dog that was my true partner. This feeling is thanks to you, my dear. You gave me the ten best years of my life. Your presence, your friendship, your unbeleavable loyalty, your - yes this is how it is - leading me in your funny but clever way, all you did and all of you that was you, my dear Folly, made me decide to find a new dog. Not to replace you, Dolly, but thanks to you. How the presence of a dog intensifies a human beings' life, how much deeper that gets when one can share that with a dog. This is why Lotte came. She is doing well, by-the-way, as if she knows all of your ideas and knows about your ways with people, dogs and cats. She is dealing well with Ed and Nub. She is a beautiful lass that you also would have been proud of. I am sure Lotte will become a good friend of mine. Folly, thanks to you she is with me now. Please know this, my dearest, that I will never forget you, never!

Your best friend, your mate,
Marius

The Hague, July 2004

Note: Folly's ashes were spread out by me on June 8 on the hill she loved so much. Almost at the same time she died a year before. The tin in which her ashes were guarded for a year I buried somewhere else at Clingendael. Strange enough this is the place I nowadays cherish more than the place were her ashes were spread out.